On Yoga

I downloaded a new yoga app to my phone today. It’s awesome! It goes,
Mountain Pose (stop to answer ringing phone)
Greeting Pose (Shake baby off leg while you “breath normally”)
Downward Dog (Yell “No you can’t have a cookie before dinner!” while you “invite pleasant thoughts and realize how much you have to be grateful for”)
Deep Lunge (pull a muscle jumping up to chase toddler into the bathroom to get my phone back before she throws it in the toilet)
Corpse Pose (daydream about maintaining this pose for the rest of the night)
Ninja Pose (this is an improvisational pose I just made up to keep toddler from jumping on my stomach)
Breath Normally (pour a glass of wine, sob quietly into the arm of the sofa and order bigger clothes online).

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